I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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