Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
