And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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