What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
