Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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