Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
