Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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