I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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