You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
