this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
