I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
