i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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