If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize