This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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