Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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