my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
