dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
