I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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