Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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