they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
did i just pee glitter
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
