I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
