God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
