I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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