I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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