Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
