Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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