Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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