Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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