and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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