There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
