I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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