Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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