I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
