is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
