whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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