so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize