You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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