JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
