Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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