wrigley field is MILF paradise
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
