I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
