You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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