I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
