I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
