I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
