He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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