That's intense
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
