i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he told me I talked like a deaf person
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I did not marry a roomba.
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