Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I think your dad took our porno
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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