batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize