totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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