I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
