at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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