I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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