I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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