dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
