my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
