someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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