Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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