Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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