But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
