Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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