guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
