Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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