i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize