I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
