It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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