Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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