So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
