with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
