Apparently you make a good broom.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize