I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
