Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
