I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
