It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
