I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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