I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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