Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
