hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
