i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
