turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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