We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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