let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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