saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
