Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
